Often when I’m on the phone, people assume I’m a woman based on my voice and address me as “ma’am” or “miss” instead of “sir.”
As a young man living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy, I understand that when speaking over the phone, people only hear my voice, and there is usually no ill intent behind the assumption.
I genuinely try to give people grace and not let it bother me.
When Assumptions Become Personal
But when it happens repeatedly, it can become frustrating, discouraging, and, at times, hurtful.
Most people may not realize that, for some men with disabilities (including those with Duchenne muscular dystrophy) or who use wheelchairs, our voices may sound different because of our conditions. That does not make us any less of a man, nor should it lead others to make assumptions about who we are.
The Emotional Impact of Being Misidentified
Something as seemingly small as being repeatedly misidentified can, over time, become emotionally exhausting and take a toll on a person.
There have been many times when I’ve gotten off the phone feeling annoyed and upset, wondering why something that should be so simple has to happen to me so often.
Why Speaking Up Matters
I typically stay quiet because I don’t want people to think I’m overreacting or looking for sympathy. But speaking up about it is important because respect, fairness, and understanding matter.
Now, I’m not sharing this to attack anyone or make anyone feel bad for me or others. Most people don’t realize the impact their words can have, and I simply want to encourage people to think about these situations a little differently.
A Message of Understanding and Inclusion
If you’re unsure of someone’s gender when speaking with them on the phone, using their name instead can be a respectful and simple option. Small changes like this can make conversations more comfortable, respectful, and inclusive for everyone.
I want other people with disabilities who have experienced similar situations to know that they are not alone. Sometimes, the things that affect us the most may seem small or insignificant to others. But that doesn’t make our feelings any less valid.
At the end of the day, I simply want to be recognized and addressed for who I am, just like everyone else.
Every Interaction Shapes the Patient Experience
The way we communicate matters. Small moments of respect, understanding, and inclusion can have a lasting impact on people living with disabilities and rare diseases.
By listening to patient voices and recognizing the realities of lived experience, organizations can build stronger relationships, create more inclusive programs, and better serve the communities they support.
Learn how PAS helps biopharma companies, healthcare organizations, and advocacy groups incorporate authentic patient perspectives into engagement, communications, research, and patient-centered initiatives.
